Clingy, needy, attention seeking 'friend'

I have a friend who seems to have the deck stacked against them in so many ways. They are from a country where being a trans-woman is almost equal to a death sentence if they don't wish to join the hijra caste, and add to that the fact that they are lesbian and it's a mess. Not to mention that this friend was raised Muslim...and the hard-core Muslims do not and will not accept anything other than people be hetero and cis.

But that's not the least of it. She also has a list of mental health issues she is dealing with - most of which she is trying to blame on her parents, despite most of them not having a known cause or are caused by brain chemistry imbalances.

Either way, it's a huge mess.

And she is constantly seeking to replace her family with friends. Which wouldn't be so bad if she was so clingy and demanding about it. She has already scared away one friend by acting like this, even though said friend had repeatedly told her to stop being so clingy and demanding of her time and energy. She has said more than once that I'm like a mentor too her and a mother figure...uh, how about no? I can only mentor somebody who is willing to listen and not argue with every thing I say to them. And I've already raised one kid, and I'm not about to raise another at this point in my life.

Some people may say that I'm not being fair in my refusal to let my friend attach herself to me, but they don't realize just how emotionally and mentally draining it is to be seen as this person's 'everything'. Especially when I am dealing with my own mental health struggles.

So, I've been advised by another friend of mine who happens to have the mental health education behind her that it would be a very good idea to keep the distance between myself and the previously mentioned friend. To not let this person try to horn in on everything I do, to just show up on my doorstep and expect to be let in or to go hang out, to not invite herself along if I'm going somewhere (especially with friends who don't even know her), and to basically keep refusing to meet up with her any time soon. Because while I know a lot of tips and tricks for dealing with certain aspects of particular mental health issues, I am not a professional and am not prepared to handle the amount of counseling my friend desperately needs.

Yes, the mental healthcare in this province sucks, but it should not fall onto the shoulders of those with little or no training to help keep their friends' heads above water. And those with mental health issues seriously need to advocate more for themselves than they do. Sure, this province is so backwards that people still discriminate folks with mental health disorders, but this is not the time for any of us to stick our heads in the sand and ignore it, especially when we're the ones suffering from the lack of it.

And nobody should rely on their friends for their mental wellness, especially when their mental illnesses are beyond what one single untrained person can handle.