Is telling the truth that difficult?

It looks like I will be having to have a sit down with one of my friends to hash a few things out. And it is a talk that I am not looking forward to having, but it needs to be done. I have a feeling that there is a chance I will have one less friend afterwards, but something has to give, especially as I'm seriously thinking that this particular friend is truth-challenged.

I've long suspected that this friend has difficulty when it comes to telling the truth because a lot of things don't add up. I figure that she doesn't even realize that she is lying because she is so used to it. I think it started when she felt the need to start lying to her husband in order to keep any money for herself, and to manage to get time for herself. Mind you, I also wonder at how much she has said about her husband is actually true.

Feeling like this does not make for a good friendship - if I can't trust my friends, then is that a real friendship in the first place?

I was talking to another of my friends today about this situation, and the topic came up about how said friend seems not to have enough money to live on her own despite making decent coin at her job, yet having the money to get tattoos. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it doesn't make any sense. If it's true that her husband expects her to pay out at least a $1k to him per month towards bills, she could easily afford to move out on her own into a 1-bdrm place. Hell, my rent isn't even that much for a 2-bdrm place, and that's before taking utilities and groceries into account.

So, I'm going to need to sit down with this friend and ask her where all her money goes, and suggest to her that before she considers sharing a place with me and my kid, that she might want to look at living on her own first. Or even moving in with her mother for a bit, seeing as how she's on the lease for her mother's new place anyway, so that she can make the break from her husband and get her head on straight before committing to living with my kid and me.

I'm also going to stress that she needs to get some serious grief counseling to properly deal with losing her father a couple of years ago. She's been bottling it up for too long, and one day it's all going to boil over. It will also help her to prepare for her mother's eventual passing too.

I think what she also needs is a serious reminder that she is worth so much more than she realizes that she it. I think the reason she is where she is in life is because she doesn't believe that she is strong enough to do it on her own, that she is worth taking care of her mental and physical health, and that she does not need somebody to tell her what to do and how to do it.

I know I have a tendency to pick up friends who need a strong guiding role in their life, but there comes a time when I need to cut the cord to let them learn to live on their own. I can set them on the right path, but after that it is up to them to do the rest of the work. I can nudge them when needed, or provide emotional support as necessary, but I cannot shepherd them along like good little sheep. I can provide advice and wisdom to a certain extent, but wearing myself out for them to still go about life complaining but not making the necessary changes isn't going to do anybody any good.

I have been doing the necessary work on myself to grow into the person I am meant to be, but I can't do that if I am stretched too thin. As it is, I am on the cusp of having to tell another friend that as they continue to disrespect the boundaries I have laid out with them, that I will not longer be available to them at all. I cannot be what they want me to be and still be myself, and it is not fair of them to put me in that position.

We shall see how this all goes, and I may need to do some spellcraft to help facilitate it in a useful way. So mote it be, right?