Random Ramblings Are Random

So, I've got next week off of work - I decided to book my birthday week off. It was not a hard set plan, but my boss is making sure that I've got that time. And I'm glad that she did. I have been working pretty much since August 2020 straight through, dealing with major staff shortages, asshole customers, and so much more. Honestly, I don't know how much more I can handle of it all. I hit a wall today where it was all I could do keep from screaming my head off. I think it's a cumulation of a lot of things. The death of my mother, uncertainties about work, the stress of knowing that I absolutely must clean my apartment from top to bottom, and just everything. Plus the fact that I'm starting a writing class on Monday...homework. Ugh. Today while out for coffee with a friend I started fleshing out a story that has been in the back of my mind and I figure that it will work for the class. I've got the d bit of brainstorming started so I can work from the scene I

In the days since my mother passed I've had the chance to do some serious thinking about our relationship over the years. Looking back over the years, the cracks in my mother's mental health started during her second marriage. She had married a very abusive man who made our lives hell, and considering the childhood my mother had and the fact that was institutionalized before getting pregnant with me, it's probably not a huge surprised that the cracks started forming. I know at one point I used to blame my brother for how my mother started treating me, but it was never his fault. It was the asshole who was his father that is partially to blame. Another part of the blame lies with my mother's refusal to seek professional help when she was clearly (to me, at least) losing her mind. I was finally able to look past the toxity of the past 34-35 years and remember when I was still able to call her 'Mom' when talking about her to my friends. It's only as the years w