Mother's Day

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On my social media there are lots of Happy Mother's Day posts, and as usual I'm ignoring most of them. My relationship with my kid has never required a special day to celebrate because that is not how a loving relationship is supposed to be in the first place. It's just another Hallmark holiday in our opinion.

My own mother used to make a big deal out of it and got offended more than once when my dad bought both of us gifts for Mother's Day. He looked at it as I'm a mother too - I gave him his only grandchild. My mother felt that because my kid wasn't old enough to make/buy me gifts that I shouldn't receive anything, that the day should have been all about her. And she wonders why I stopped doing all of that for her years ago. Especially when she would belittle the gifts I did give her because I didn't spend 'enough' money on them. Yes, she was rather materialistic.

This is the first Mother's Day that I am home alone, however. But I'm honestly okay with it. My daughter did give me permission to pick a few things from Amazon and charge them to her card - it took me until late last night to figure out what I wanted and all three items are practical. 50ft cat6 cable, replacement screen protectors for my phone, and a 2pk of black satin pillow cases. I think I'm becoming more practical in my old age or something. I looked at arty, frivolous things but none of them struck my fancy. It could be related to my lack of creativity lately, I don't really know, tbh.

I'm hoping that I can get back to the creative side of myself before too long. Something has to spark my imagination, right?

And if anybody is wondering, no, I really don't miss my mother. It's been years since I felt I had a mom to miss. It made the move across the country 15 years ago quite easy, honestly. I don't think I could have done it as successfully if her and I had the same bond my kid and I do. My daughter teared up last week when we parted, and neither of us expected to see each other as soon as yesterday. That she still reaches out to me for help is awesome, because it was never something I could do with my own mother. My daughter and I still message each other 'I love you' almost daily while my own mother and I rarely spoke. Hell, I didn't even know how sick she was until she was gone - Dad said that she didn't want me to know so I wouldn't worry about her. Frankly, I still feel that was damn selfish of her, but that was par for the course with her. But she's gone and I hope that her afterlife gives her all that she deserves.

I have to work this afternoon - only a five hour shift, but I don't mind. I may just take a snack with me to get me through my shift, and then eat one of my packed chicken dinners when I get home. I expect it to be a bit off the rails in terms of gift card purchases, but the first thing I have to get finished is the payroll so I can submit it tonight. Tomorrow is when it technically needs to be submitted, but I like to have it in the bag no later than Sunday. I would have had it done last night but one of the properties hadn't sent me in their hours until this morning. At least that's all I have left to input though, and then it's back to my auditing work. Woo?

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