So, I have a feeling that I'm going to be suggesting that a friend of mine be put elsewhere at work, or just plain let go. Or at least not work with me on any projects at all.
Why?
Because right now I feel that she can't see where or how she overstepped, and basically made excuses for what she did.
At work I've been put in charge of doing a file cull for the RMTs and my boss left the project in my hands, and said I could bring in my friend to help as it would get done quicker than just having me do it, and it would give my friend some hours where she's not on the hotel desk schedule right now.
After our first attempt at the file cull using the instructions given by the spa manager and realizing how useless it will be to keep thousands of folders for clients who haven't been in since before 2019 that we could just keep the files from Jan 2020 in the file room and box the rest to go into on-site storage.
I made it clear that _I_ was going to talk to the spa manager AND my direct boss about it when I was in next.
What does my friend do? She took it upon herself to speak to my direct boss in my place. Completely sidestepping both myself and the spa manager. Despite me telling her that I'm the point of contact for this project.
Her excuse? "Well, I was already talking to <my direct boss> about the heating issue at <property> so I figured I'd tell her instead of you telling her."
Uh, how about you never do that again.
I spent the weekend pissed at her for overstepping like she did, especially after I said I had to speak to the spa manager about it first.
By yesterday I was calmer about it and was willing to let it slide.
Until my direct boss let me know that she felt that my friend had overstepped her boundaries slightly. I was like 'THANK YOU!' I felt validated in my anger at that point. I am the person overseeing this project - it was given to ME to lead, and my friend very much undermined my authority. I'm sure she didn't mean to do it, but when I told her about the conversation I had with the big boss instead of owning up to what she did or even seeing why it was on overstep on her part she came back with 'She said I could go to her about anything.'
Now, this boss has a bit of a reputation for pitting people against each other so I wouldn't be too surprised that she told us both different things, but I'm still angry about how things played out.
I still have a supervisory role when it comes to directing employees on how to do things, especially when I am leading a project that has NOTHING to do with customer service. I am still a manager, and work in tandem with the other on-site manager for the hotel.
I explained to my friend what the big boss said to me about her actions and how she had overstepped, that the changes we've made to how we're handling the file cull should have come from me. Not her. That I was the lead on this, especially as I'm in management and it was my task to work on, and that anything that needed to be discussed with the big boss and the spa manager was to come through me. Not anybody else. I thought my friend understood this, but perhaps I should have spelled it out in no uncertain terms?
My friend said that the big boss told her that she could go to the big boss any time. I strongly doubt that the big boss meant that it was okay to basically go over my head. And she also said that the big boss said that my friend should have been looped in from the very start - WHICH SHE FUCKING WAS! PS. When the big boss talks about being looped in does not mean to be brought directly into the conversation between the big boss and I - it meant that my friend was asked if she was willing to help with the project in the first place, and that _I_ would pick my friend's brain for any input concerning how to handle these files if they were not straight forward. Maybe people have a different idea about what it means to be 'looped in', especially if it's management level convo that does not need to be discussed with non-management. My friend was told - by me - what she needed to know. Yes, I bounced some ideas off of her and I stated that _I_ would speak to the spa manager and then the big boss to let her know what the results of the convo with the spa manager were.
Why?
Because I had to make sure that the spa manager was on board with my idea in the first fucking place. Which was WHY I didn't message the big boss the night I came up with the plan to keep certain files in the file cabinets and box the rest. I did have that conversation with the spa manager prior to knowing that my friend had jumped over our heads and spoke directly to the big boss. Oh, and when I asked her about it today, she said that she figured that since I was off work at the time that it was okay. Which it absolutely WAS NOT.
And when I wasn't having any of that, she said that C was her boss at the hotel. Yeah, while that is somewhat true, it does not mean that I am not acting as her boss when it comes to the file cull - C has no power to tell me what to do when it comes to any of the admin projects I've been given. And when she's working hours alloted to one of those admin projects, I am her boss. Hell, I'm the one who told C what hours my friend was available when he did the schedule in the first place, otherwise she'd have yet another week with no hours.
To me it feels like there's some sort of power struggle going on when there shouldn't be. My friend is NOT in a management role at the hotel and she needs to stop overstepping and keep only to her direct uplines. Unless she has a problem with one of us, of course, and that's what the big boss meant when she told my friend to go to her with anything. Clearly, she should have made it clear what 'anything' actually meant.
If my friend had gone to C about anything to do with the file cull project, he would have told her to speak to me as admin projects are not his responsibility, they are mine. He is already aware of what happened and even said it was on overstep on my friend's part, and while we can both see why she would feel it was okay, we both feel that it really wasn't as it effectively undermined me and my position. And when I tried to explain what the big boss said to me about it all appeared I was basically told that the big boss told her something different, that she felt since she was already on the phone with the big boss over something different that it was okay to bring up something that should have come from me, and...yeah, I think my brain shut down when I realized that I wasn't getting through.
The good news is that the file cull will be done most likely by the end of the upcoming weekend, so that project will be put to rest. I know that it's not the last admin project that will come my way, so I'll play the upcoming projects by ear. I'm still working on auditing all the paperwork and entering the figures into spreadsheets, and that is a one person job that I work on when I am not busy with anything else. Will I take on another group project? Depends on a lot of variables, honestly.
Just let me get through the next while without blowing up over things that should never have happened in the first place. I get that the management hierarchy at work can be a bit confusing, but it's all that difficult to know who your direct report is when you aren't in management and are just a regular employee. C and I work together for a lot of the hotel stuff, and he comes to me for spa stuff when it ties in with the hotel. If it's straight spa stuff he will ask me first and then the spa manager as I am the liason between both entities on top of my admin management duties. Honestly, I am just as much my friend's manager on a regular day as C is.
It's frustrating, and I'm frustrated.
Ugh.
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