Why did I agree to let my ex stay with me? Because I'm a soft-hearted idiot -_-
I may be certifiably insane...
So, my ex got into a fight with his landlord's son and spent a night in jail. The next day a judge told him that he could not return home due to the fact that he lived with his landlord.
This meant that he messaged me asking for a place to stay because he had nowhere to go.
I told him that I had to run it past my kid first because the last thing I want is to have my kid pissed off over sharing a place with somebody they don't particularly care for. My kid agreed to it being temporary only, which I'm in full agreement with.
So, I let my ex know that he could stay but it was only for a short time, and he had to be making an effort to find a new place.
Yeah.
So far he's made NO effort to look for a new place, and keeps coming up with excuses. He also can't seem to get his head around the fact that I do not want to spend all my free time around him. If he needs to go to the store for something he can go by himself - it's really the only time I get to myself unless I opt to spend all my time in my bedroom.
Oh yeah, the first night he was here he thought that sharing my bed was a good idea. Uh. I have a twin bed and I'm not a small person. Besides, we aren't even fucking dating anymore! But, like an idiot, I let him share my bed. Thankfully, he decided on his own that the couch is a better spot for him.
But this means he has essentially taken over my living room. And if he sleeps in late - like he did yesterday and this morning - nobody else can use the fucking living room. Sure, I was at work yesterday but my kid was home and basically hid in their bedroom all day instead of coming out, not even coming out to chat with me like they usually do.
I've told him that he has to look for a place to go because he cannot stay here with me. And over the past couple of days I've remembered very well why the hell I was going to break up with him if he hadn't broken up with me first. Like, holy fucking hell, he gets on my nerves!
One of his biggest hangups seems to be that I can have marijuana in the house and not feel the need to smoke it all until it's gone. And that I don't immediately know where I've got a lighter. He's pretty obviously a chronic, and he can't go long without a draw. He also can't seem to understand that just because he's going for a draw doesn't mean that I want to go for one as well. I don't need to smoke pot all the damn time! If anything, it's enough to turn me fucking off of it. And it reminds me of an ex-fiance of mine that was just as pushy and stunned when it came to drugs - and I left his ass, along with our house and most of the stuff in it!
I appreciate that he's cleaned a bit of my place for me, but he put things away in places where they clearly don't go. And he's sat on his ass since his first full day here.
Guess who has been the one trying to look for a place for him to go? You probably figured out by now that it's sure as fuck not him. And anytime I mention it to him he says he has to speak to welfare first to see if they can find a place for him. Uh, originally you were supposed to do that this past Friday...but you made an excuse for that. So, you'd best be getting your ass in gear tomorrow or your stay will be cut much shorter than even I had originally planned. Forget that month you're hoping for because it won't be happening.
I've already made it clear that I've got plans for tomorrow and will not be going with him to the welfare office. Why the hell should I? I've got my own life to live, and he needs to figure that out. It's not my fault that he's got no friends other than me, and I will not allow him to monopolize my time. As it is, I'm actually sitting in my living room typing this up while he's sitting in a chair by the window.
If I get home tomorrow and he's made zero effort to go to Welfare to attempt to get things sorted then he will be told he has to be out by the end of the week. I get that he's dealing with depression, but I simply don't have the time or desire to have to deal with his sorry ass - he got himself into this situation and it's not up to me to bail himself out.
My honest opinion is that he doesn't bother to consider the consequences of his actions, so he puts himself into shitty situations like the one that saw him have to leave his last place. Not to mention him getting thrown out of the place before that for starting shit with the landlord there.
Once upon a time I would have given a shit and pretended not to see all the red flags that are there, but now? Obviously, not so much these days, and certainly not near the time he broke up with me either.
I don't feel the need to smoke pot all the time - the pot I've got now I've had for months, ffs. I have a puff whenever I feel like it, and that certainly isn't even once a day or even once a week!
There's also the fact that he's simply not a good match for me intellectually. He's not a geek in any way, and we have entirely different interests. Not to mention that watching a movie with him is damn near impossible because he can never remember if he's seen the sequel or not - prime example of that was when we watched Avengers Endgame on Thursday night and he told me that he saw Avengers Infinity War...but then had no damn clue what was going on in the beginning of the movie. As the movie played on, he got so much of the info wrong about what happened in the previous movies that I was left seriously wondering if he actually saw the other movies or if he was too stoned while watching them to remember anything. And that's before him asking where Wonder Woman was! Wrong universe, fucko.
And now that he's had his first draw of the day, he's too lazy to go down to get his own damn weed - even though he knows he has to because I will not let him smoke all of mine. That he wants me to go with him is immaterial - I worked for the past seven days straight and I simply don't want to go anywhere today. Which is my right, for fuck's sake. Besides, I don't exactly want to go to the Healing Tree or Tweed so he can buy himself some more weed. Especially considering that just yesterday he said he should stop smoking it. Y'think? The stuff is making him beyond stupid...stupider than I remember him being.
Anyhow, I have to go find something to do before I start yelling at him for being such a lazy asshole. I may be lazy too, but I have a roof over my head and a job, and I'm not the one in risk of having to sleep on the street. I handle my shit, and I'm not about to handle his for him - he's a grown man who need to sack up.
So, my ex got into a fight with his landlord's son and spent a night in jail. The next day a judge told him that he could not return home due to the fact that he lived with his landlord.
This meant that he messaged me asking for a place to stay because he had nowhere to go.
I told him that I had to run it past my kid first because the last thing I want is to have my kid pissed off over sharing a place with somebody they don't particularly care for. My kid agreed to it being temporary only, which I'm in full agreement with.
So, I let my ex know that he could stay but it was only for a short time, and he had to be making an effort to find a new place.
Yeah.
So far he's made NO effort to look for a new place, and keeps coming up with excuses. He also can't seem to get his head around the fact that I do not want to spend all my free time around him. If he needs to go to the store for something he can go by himself - it's really the only time I get to myself unless I opt to spend all my time in my bedroom.
Oh yeah, the first night he was here he thought that sharing my bed was a good idea. Uh. I have a twin bed and I'm not a small person. Besides, we aren't even fucking dating anymore! But, like an idiot, I let him share my bed. Thankfully, he decided on his own that the couch is a better spot for him.
But this means he has essentially taken over my living room. And if he sleeps in late - like he did yesterday and this morning - nobody else can use the fucking living room. Sure, I was at work yesterday but my kid was home and basically hid in their bedroom all day instead of coming out, not even coming out to chat with me like they usually do.
I've told him that he has to look for a place to go because he cannot stay here with me. And over the past couple of days I've remembered very well why the hell I was going to break up with him if he hadn't broken up with me first. Like, holy fucking hell, he gets on my nerves!
One of his biggest hangups seems to be that I can have marijuana in the house and not feel the need to smoke it all until it's gone. And that I don't immediately know where I've got a lighter. He's pretty obviously a chronic, and he can't go long without a draw. He also can't seem to understand that just because he's going for a draw doesn't mean that I want to go for one as well. I don't need to smoke pot all the damn time! If anything, it's enough to turn me fucking off of it. And it reminds me of an ex-fiance of mine that was just as pushy and stunned when it came to drugs - and I left his ass, along with our house and most of the stuff in it!
I appreciate that he's cleaned a bit of my place for me, but he put things away in places where they clearly don't go. And he's sat on his ass since his first full day here.
Guess who has been the one trying to look for a place for him to go? You probably figured out by now that it's sure as fuck not him. And anytime I mention it to him he says he has to speak to welfare first to see if they can find a place for him. Uh, originally you were supposed to do that this past Friday...but you made an excuse for that. So, you'd best be getting your ass in gear tomorrow or your stay will be cut much shorter than even I had originally planned. Forget that month you're hoping for because it won't be happening.
I've already made it clear that I've got plans for tomorrow and will not be going with him to the welfare office. Why the hell should I? I've got my own life to live, and he needs to figure that out. It's not my fault that he's got no friends other than me, and I will not allow him to monopolize my time. As it is, I'm actually sitting in my living room typing this up while he's sitting in a chair by the window.
If I get home tomorrow and he's made zero effort to go to Welfare to attempt to get things sorted then he will be told he has to be out by the end of the week. I get that he's dealing with depression, but I simply don't have the time or desire to have to deal with his sorry ass - he got himself into this situation and it's not up to me to bail himself out.
My honest opinion is that he doesn't bother to consider the consequences of his actions, so he puts himself into shitty situations like the one that saw him have to leave his last place. Not to mention him getting thrown out of the place before that for starting shit with the landlord there.
Once upon a time I would have given a shit and pretended not to see all the red flags that are there, but now? Obviously, not so much these days, and certainly not near the time he broke up with me either.
I don't feel the need to smoke pot all the time - the pot I've got now I've had for months, ffs. I have a puff whenever I feel like it, and that certainly isn't even once a day or even once a week!
There's also the fact that he's simply not a good match for me intellectually. He's not a geek in any way, and we have entirely different interests. Not to mention that watching a movie with him is damn near impossible because he can never remember if he's seen the sequel or not - prime example of that was when we watched Avengers Endgame on Thursday night and he told me that he saw Avengers Infinity War...but then had no damn clue what was going on in the beginning of the movie. As the movie played on, he got so much of the info wrong about what happened in the previous movies that I was left seriously wondering if he actually saw the other movies or if he was too stoned while watching them to remember anything. And that's before him asking where Wonder Woman was! Wrong universe, fucko.
And now that he's had his first draw of the day, he's too lazy to go down to get his own damn weed - even though he knows he has to because I will not let him smoke all of mine. That he wants me to go with him is immaterial - I worked for the past seven days straight and I simply don't want to go anywhere today. Which is my right, for fuck's sake. Besides, I don't exactly want to go to the Healing Tree or Tweed so he can buy himself some more weed. Especially considering that just yesterday he said he should stop smoking it. Y'think? The stuff is making him beyond stupid...stupider than I remember him being.
Anyhow, I have to go find something to do before I start yelling at him for being such a lazy asshole. I may be lazy too, but I have a roof over my head and a job, and I'm not the one in risk of having to sleep on the street. I handle my shit, and I'm not about to handle his for him - he's a grown man who need to sack up.
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