Depression and cleaning...dealing with triggers, Hoarders-style
I'm finally tackling one of the biggest triggers in my home in terms of depression - my bedroom. It's been an absolute disaster for way too long and I'm finally in the head space to deal with it after over a year of it slowly getting to the point where I couldn't access my closet or dresser, and I had no visible carpet.
I have made some attempts at starting to clear the mess out but I got too overwhelmed and I would start to have a panic attack just trying to figure out where to start. Until yesterday when I felt mentally well enough to be able to make another attempt. This has been my most successful attempt in years - countless bags of garbage and old, hoarded clothing are now sitting in my living room to wait for tomorrow night so I can put them on the curb before I leave for work, and I have a carpet once again.
It's far from finished but it is closer than it has been in ages, and I actually feel like I'll be able to get it completed tonight. And then after 8am tomorrow morning I can run a vacuum over the floor - I don't want to piss off the folks living in the apartment below mine or I'd vacuum a lot sooner. Such is life.
In terms of the stuff I'm tossing out, it's mostly stuff that I haven't touched in over a year. Random odds and ends, old school papers, work notes, wrappers and bags from things I've bought. Hell, even some of those things I bought got tossed out.
I know some folks would give me grief for not passing anything usable on, but here's the thing: if I don't toss it now it won't go anywhere and just continue to gather dust and take up space. I've learned this the hard way, but I think this time it actually stuck. And no, I didn't do the whole Marie Kondo method thing because to me that feels entirely too contrived. Besides, I know that if I have to that I can get rid of pretty much everything I own if it ever comes down to it again - I did it to move across Canada, so I know I can do it again if I have to. But this time I don't have access to a big dumpster so I have to do it in steps...the city garbage collection allows ten bags maximum per household. Yes, I likely can (and will) be putting that many bags out on the curb for next couple of weeks - smelly garbage takes priority, of course, but the rest of our allotment will be the dry garbage. And if the other apartments don't use up their full allotment I may put out more bags. You gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm currently taking a short break while I wait for my antihistamines to kick in - the amount of dust I've been kicking up is unreal, especially the further down into the mess I've been getting. And I've got a dust allergy (which is why I'm hoping my next place doesn't have any carpets), so it's been fun. At least I've managed to avoid an asthma attack this time around.
Once I get the mess dealt with I then get to deal with pulling my dresser out of the room and giving it to the kid, putting up the portable cloth wardrobe together (I've only had it for two years now...sitting in the box it shipped in), and then putting my clothing into it. My closet is going to be turned into storage - if we were planning on staying I'd be installing shelves to store all my craft stuff in there, but as it stands it will likely be getting my Sterilite drawer units and whatever bins I can fit. I need to remember to buy more hangers too because the kid has somehow managed to lose the crate that had a ton of hangers in it so has been taking my empty hangers to hang up their own clothing, and I'm not willing to wait until they get their own room cleaned up to find the crate of hangers. Besides, I get our hangers at the dollar store so it's not like I'm spending mega bucks or anything.
On that note, my eyes are finally no longer itchy and watery so I'm assuming that my allergy meds are doing their magic. It's time to get back to working on my bedroom! Who knows, if I get it finished by a decent hour I may get the chance to vacuum the carpet tonight.
And once I get all the garbage bags cleared out of my living room that will be the next room to tackle. I'm rather excited by the prospect!
I have made some attempts at starting to clear the mess out but I got too overwhelmed and I would start to have a panic attack just trying to figure out where to start. Until yesterday when I felt mentally well enough to be able to make another attempt. This has been my most successful attempt in years - countless bags of garbage and old, hoarded clothing are now sitting in my living room to wait for tomorrow night so I can put them on the curb before I leave for work, and I have a carpet once again.
It's far from finished but it is closer than it has been in ages, and I actually feel like I'll be able to get it completed tonight. And then after 8am tomorrow morning I can run a vacuum over the floor - I don't want to piss off the folks living in the apartment below mine or I'd vacuum a lot sooner. Such is life.
In terms of the stuff I'm tossing out, it's mostly stuff that I haven't touched in over a year. Random odds and ends, old school papers, work notes, wrappers and bags from things I've bought. Hell, even some of those things I bought got tossed out.
I know some folks would give me grief for not passing anything usable on, but here's the thing: if I don't toss it now it won't go anywhere and just continue to gather dust and take up space. I've learned this the hard way, but I think this time it actually stuck. And no, I didn't do the whole Marie Kondo method thing because to me that feels entirely too contrived. Besides, I know that if I have to that I can get rid of pretty much everything I own if it ever comes down to it again - I did it to move across Canada, so I know I can do it again if I have to. But this time I don't have access to a big dumpster so I have to do it in steps...the city garbage collection allows ten bags maximum per household. Yes, I likely can (and will) be putting that many bags out on the curb for next couple of weeks - smelly garbage takes priority, of course, but the rest of our allotment will be the dry garbage. And if the other apartments don't use up their full allotment I may put out more bags. You gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm currently taking a short break while I wait for my antihistamines to kick in - the amount of dust I've been kicking up is unreal, especially the further down into the mess I've been getting. And I've got a dust allergy (which is why I'm hoping my next place doesn't have any carpets), so it's been fun. At least I've managed to avoid an asthma attack this time around.
Once I get the mess dealt with I then get to deal with pulling my dresser out of the room and giving it to the kid, putting up the portable cloth wardrobe together (I've only had it for two years now...sitting in the box it shipped in), and then putting my clothing into it. My closet is going to be turned into storage - if we were planning on staying I'd be installing shelves to store all my craft stuff in there, but as it stands it will likely be getting my Sterilite drawer units and whatever bins I can fit. I need to remember to buy more hangers too because the kid has somehow managed to lose the crate that had a ton of hangers in it so has been taking my empty hangers to hang up their own clothing, and I'm not willing to wait until they get their own room cleaned up to find the crate of hangers. Besides, I get our hangers at the dollar store so it's not like I'm spending mega bucks or anything.
On that note, my eyes are finally no longer itchy and watery so I'm assuming that my allergy meds are doing their magic. It's time to get back to working on my bedroom! Who knows, if I get it finished by a decent hour I may get the chance to vacuum the carpet tonight.
And once I get all the garbage bags cleared out of my living room that will be the next room to tackle. I'm rather excited by the prospect!
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