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I haven't yet gotten a written notice of eviction, but I'm still getting my stuff packed and looking for a new place. And I'm wondering how the hell I'm supposed to save up for all of this...trying to save up for a damage deposit and u-Haul rental is going to do me in. It's not like I make a whole lot of money or anything.

I make $1.55 more than minimum wage. As an assistant manager. I live on my own and recently started paying $100 more for rent per month. Plus, I've been playing catch up with bills for entirely too long - sometimes food is more important than paying that internet bill, especially when the cat needs food.

I've been looking at renting a room and doing the roomie thing, but even the costs for that are insane. Everything just costs so much more than it used to, and nobody can afford much of anything. And, while I've found a few affordable options, they're ready right now...and I just don't have the funds available to make the move so soon. As it is, I'm not even sure I'll be able to afford everything come the end of November when I'm supposed to be out of here.

A very large part of me is very tempted to just toss or sell pretty much everything to make it easier to couch surf for however long it takes for me to save up for a place. It wouldn't be the first time I've had to start over from pretty much scratch. It just sucks that I'll be having to do it at age 50/51. But I know I can do it...I just don't really want to be in that situation.

If things get truly desperate, I may beg my kid to let me move into the available room in their basement. I know that's where their washer and dryer is, but I can set up my bookcases to act like a wall to separate my space from what they need for the laundry area. And I can just pretty much stay down there so I'm not intruding on them upstairs. I have yet to broach that topic with her yet because I want to try to find something that won't impinge on her privacy or that of her partners.

As it is, I'm already pretty sure that I'm going to have to ask her to help me pay my moving expenses, regardless of where I end up. I'm already pretty sure that even if I manage to sell any of my things that it won't be enough to cover those costs.

I hate asking for help. Of any sort. But I'm in a position where I'm not going to have any choice in the matter, unfortunately. I may even put up a gofundme to help cover those costs. This entire situation sucks ass and I hate feeling like this.

*sigh*

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