Random Ramblings Are Random

Today I got a one month refill on my meds for $33 - seven different meds, 30 days worth of each. This used to cost me over $100/month because I didn't have health benefits. Now I've got them, and it covers me all the way back to October 1st of this year. And when my doctor decides to put me insulin I've got decent coverage for diabetic meds and supplies now. I don't care that my employer doesn't cover much of my insurance because it is still cheaper than paying full price for my meds. Woo? I also purchased a wireless keyboard and a new wireless mouse to use with my Chromebook. I've been doing the best I could with the native keyboard and touchpad on the thing, but it's been so frustrating. The touchpad can't be turned off so every time I would type on the keyboard I would mess up the font size and have to stop to fix that. Not to mention that the mousepad isn't all that responsive or precise. And I got a new mini wireless mouse too. Yay for me invest...

It's no surprise to many that know me that I enjoy writing. But what is a surprise is that I have yet to be published. Well, it's no surprise to me but to others it is. And no, I do not include my shared fanfiction writing in the whole 'being published' thing either. I took a writing course all the way back in high school, but the teacher never went over structure or anything like that. It was basically just a 'write what you want and I'll mark it according to how much I like it' class. I learned absolutely nothing during that year. I then picked up professional writing via college. I used those skills to write a training manual during my first contract with my first call center job. But I still didn't do all that much with those skills. But I kept writing stories - fanfic, some original, and everything in between - but never got one to the point of finishing the story. I always ran into the same issue of knowing how I wanted it to end, but no idea how t...

I haven't written here since before I took my birthday week off from work, but things have happened! Mostly good things too! I know I was worried when the spa manager was due to come back because I didn't know where that would leave me in terms of hours, position, etc. But I didn't need to worry about any of it. Oh, we still have some things to hammer out but it could have been so much worse than it ended up being. I have my own office now. Well, mostly my own. As the one employee between the hotel and spa that can pretty much do everything I have a space from which I can do everything. Answering calls for the hotel, spa, and medical services we offer on the hotel level, and using the various booking systems for all of that as well. My official title is Guest Services Manager, and I can step into the roll of both the spa manager and accommodiations manager as needed. And I get paid the most I've been paid in years, outside of the time I worked in a finishing shop...and ...

So, I've got next week off of work - I decided to book my birthday week off. It was not a hard set plan, but my boss is making sure that I've got that time. And I'm glad that she did. I have been working pretty much since August 2020 straight through, dealing with major staff shortages, asshole customers, and so much more. Honestly, I don't know how much more I can handle of it all. I hit a wall today where it was all I could do keep from screaming my head off. I think it's a cumulation of a lot of things. The death of my mother, uncertainties about work, the stress of knowing that I absolutely must clean my apartment from top to bottom, and just everything. Plus the fact that I'm starting a writing class on Monday...homework. Ugh. Today while out for coffee with a friend I started fleshing out a story that has been in the back of my mind and I figure that it will work for the class. I've got the d bit of brainstorming started so I can work from the scene I ...

In the days since my mother passed I've had the chance to do some serious thinking about our relationship over the years. Looking back over the years, the cracks in my mother's mental health started during her second marriage. She had married a very abusive man who made our lives hell, and considering the childhood my mother had and the fact that was institutionalized before getting pregnant with me, it's probably not a huge surprised that the cracks started forming. I know at one point I used to blame my brother for how my mother started treating me, but it was never his fault. It was the asshole who was his father that is partially to blame. Another part of the blame lies with my mother's refusal to seek professional help when she was clearly (to me, at least) losing her mind. I was finally able to look past the toxity of the past 34-35 years and remember when I was still able to call her 'Mom' when talking about her to my friends. It's only as the years w...

Today my mother died. I always thought that I would not be affected by her passing away, but I am currently a snotty, blubbering mess. It wasn't COVID that got her. Apparently her kidneys shut down and then her COPD got in on the act. She died in the hospital some time today. I spoke to family I whose voices I hadn't heard in a very long time today. My brother messaged me on FB and told me to call him, giving me his number. So I did, and I was absolutely surprised at my reaction. Then I saw that my cousin Liz had been trying to contact me...so I gave her my cell number. I learned that our mothers went the same way as each other. I bawled my face off some more, and I got my parents' phone number...didn't even realize I had it in my phone until I dialed it. I spoke to my sister Dani who sounded so much more grown up than I ever remember, and then I spoke to my dad who sounded absolutely ancient. I think that made my bawl even harder. Somehow I need to get the funds togeth...

After a stressful few days at work, things have quieted down thankfully. Thursday night things had blown up after some of our senior estheticians found out what the newest esthetician makes per hour, and I thought for sure that I was going to walk into work Friday to there not being anybody showing up to work. Only two call-outs though, but only one was legit. Oh well, such is life. After that, things settled into an even keel for the most part. Which is the way I like it. Sure, I had a couple of really long shifts on Friday and Saturday due to a front desk person calling out sick. But it means more money for me when payday rolls around. My boss was back today after taking a few days of vacation off to get away from the stress that work has been for her. And she was very pleased with the decisions I made in terms of having our esthetician student shadow one of our girls during a pedicure and then having her do one as part of a group appointment - it helped us save three appointments, a...