Random Ramblings Are Random

I owe my aunt a lot of my peace of mind, and I hope she knew that before she passed. Over the past few years she provided answers that my mother simply was never willing to provide, and it explained so much of my life with my mother over the year. My aunt also apologized to me for the shit I went through, shit that she had hoped that my mother would never have put me through. I told her that it was not her fault, and I meant it. Sure, my life would have been very different if she had stepped in to prevent everything that happened but I do not blame her for not knowing what was going on over the years. My mother never could bring herself to tell the truth to anybody, even if it had some very tragic consequences. My aunt knew what sort of person my father was like and she had feared for me. If I recall correctly, part of the reason she came to visit me when I was still really young was to see how I was faring with a father with pedophiliac tendencies and a narcissistic mother who had spe...

 ...and I'm trying my best to hold it together. If it weren't for the travel restrictions right now I would be in the process of dumping everything so I could fly to Ontario to be with my cousins and the rest of my family. Even the family I'm not exactly fond of. Instead I am going to force myself to work and then allow myself to grieve when I'm at home. My kid has already dealt with me during my grieving process so knows not to expect a whole lot out of me over the next few days as I work through my emotions. It was bad enough when I found out she was in the hospital and had been there for two weeks, but she had been apparently getting better. Yet not even two weeks after I first found out she was in the hospital she has passed away. I know she is older than my mother by at least five years...my mother is 68, so my aunt would have been 73. Where does the time go? I can still remember when I was a little girl and she came to visit us for a couple of weeks...I sat on her...

It's been a couple of weeks since I last updated, and I feel the need to at least do up a short post...it will probably end up being a long one though. I recently gave up my spa attendant shifts at work because my knees simply couldn't take the constant running up and down the stairs. I feel bad, but at the same time I know that it's for the best. Besides, it's a job for somebody much younger than my almost 50 years. I had been helping with their laundry for the past couple of weeks and the spa manager was getting other folks to pick up the full baskets of clean laundry I would put up in the staff room - long, sloping hallway to deal with instead of stairs - but even the slope was starting to become very hard on my poor knees. The only reason I took those shifts was because I wasn't sure if I would be able to be topped up by the latest plan the Canadian government rolled out, replacing CERB. Thankfully, I'm eligible for the CRB through EI, so it helps ensure tha...

Heh. My 100th post. I think this is a first for me because I usually end up wiping my blog long before I get this far! Nothing major to report. Halloween was quiet and saw me over at the other property owned by the group I work for trying to fix the internet over there...and talking to a couple of actors who are in town to work on a new series being filmed here. Oh, yeah. M has now blocked me on FB. She claimed to have amnesia to the point that she couldn't remember anything at all. The sort of amnesia that only exists in movies, and is totally fake. She messaged me saying she was reaching out to people she saw on her FB messenger that she though were friends. Considering that she claimed to not even remember her name, well, that's the first clue that she's full of shit. And, if she'd read further back through our final conversation she'd have known that I was totally finished with her and her so-called friendship. So, I reached out to her roomie, who confirmed that...