Mental health bleh
It's been a week since the shit show went down, and it's taken me this long to climb out of the depression that it set off. I'm still not 100% but I am doing better.
I will admit that I indulged in retail therapy a few times over the past week. I found that it no longer helps as much as it used to in the past. I also did not let myself make any really useless or extravagant purchases this time around, although I was very tempted.
Part of what held me back when I was out shopping is the fact that I still need to clear out a lot of accumulated stuff that I've purchased over the years. Stuff that hasn't been touched in a very long time. Which means that it's time to toss it all out or find new homes for it. Honestly, it's probably best for me to bag it up and toss it out, otherwise it will only take up space for even longer. Once it's bagged up the next challenge will be getting it out to the curb on the following garbage day.
I plan to start working on my living room first simply because it is the largest room in the house and it will make a good staging area for cleaning the rest of the place. And I plan on putting my computer desk into the living room when I get a chance.
My basic plan is to pretty much strip everything down to the essentials, perhaps keeping decor items if they already fit my redecorating plans or can be easily adapted to fit my vision for a Gothic revision. And then getting new items - new or thrifted - that can be worked into my new decor vision. And thankfully my kid is on board with it as they appreciate my love of Goth/Victorian decor, especially as it helps with my emotional rebirth, growing into the person I have long been meant to be. I just wish it hadn't taken forty-seven years to figure myself out. And I wish it were easier to clear out all the crap I need to get rid of. I'll have to focus on making my executive function actually function long enough to get things done.
One of the things that is the hardest for me is to get out bed in the morning and actually do things that I know need to be done. It's too easy to just stay in bed until I absolutely have to get out bed to get ready for work or go grocery shopping. Or having a bath or shower only so that people I work with don't realize that my mental health is lacking at times.
Before things went to shit last week, I'd been doing so much better. I was actually functioning and getting things done. Not quickly or anything like that, but I had my kitchen cleaned up and was actually cooking instead of just eating ready-to-eat microwave stuff. I even managed to get the accumulation of full garbage bags out of the house. Oh, they weren't full of rotting garbage, no worries there, but there were lots of them. And it seems like I've managed to accumulate just as much crap as before I'd filled those bags. Ugh.
I'm off to go make a list of what I need to get done - baby steps until it's done.
I will admit that I indulged in retail therapy a few times over the past week. I found that it no longer helps as much as it used to in the past. I also did not let myself make any really useless or extravagant purchases this time around, although I was very tempted.
Part of what held me back when I was out shopping is the fact that I still need to clear out a lot of accumulated stuff that I've purchased over the years. Stuff that hasn't been touched in a very long time. Which means that it's time to toss it all out or find new homes for it. Honestly, it's probably best for me to bag it up and toss it out, otherwise it will only take up space for even longer. Once it's bagged up the next challenge will be getting it out to the curb on the following garbage day.
I plan to start working on my living room first simply because it is the largest room in the house and it will make a good staging area for cleaning the rest of the place. And I plan on putting my computer desk into the living room when I get a chance.
My basic plan is to pretty much strip everything down to the essentials, perhaps keeping decor items if they already fit my redecorating plans or can be easily adapted to fit my vision for a Gothic revision. And then getting new items - new or thrifted - that can be worked into my new decor vision. And thankfully my kid is on board with it as they appreciate my love of Goth/Victorian decor, especially as it helps with my emotional rebirth, growing into the person I have long been meant to be. I just wish it hadn't taken forty-seven years to figure myself out. And I wish it were easier to clear out all the crap I need to get rid of. I'll have to focus on making my executive function actually function long enough to get things done.
One of the things that is the hardest for me is to get out bed in the morning and actually do things that I know need to be done. It's too easy to just stay in bed until I absolutely have to get out bed to get ready for work or go grocery shopping. Or having a bath or shower only so that people I work with don't realize that my mental health is lacking at times.
Before things went to shit last week, I'd been doing so much better. I was actually functioning and getting things done. Not quickly or anything like that, but I had my kitchen cleaned up and was actually cooking instead of just eating ready-to-eat microwave stuff. I even managed to get the accumulation of full garbage bags out of the house. Oh, they weren't full of rotting garbage, no worries there, but there were lots of them. And it seems like I've managed to accumulate just as much crap as before I'd filled those bags. Ugh.
I'm off to go make a list of what I need to get done - baby steps until it's done.
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