Random Ramblings Are Random

Yesterday it was so nice to be able to come home after work and sit in my own living room to watch something on Netflix without having to worry about the ex saying or doing something what would piss me off. The first couple of days he was here I tried to ignore his comments about stuff, but he would come out with some of the most stupid things. I swear that he has no concept of what real life is and would constantly say how something couldn't be real...even though it was staring him in the face. He still couldn't get over the fact that I do not need to smoke pot on a daily basis. Or that even though my bedroom light is on that I could sleep. Or just any number of things. The day that he moved out he was up the earliest he's been up since he first came to stay with me. Probably because he wanted to get a hold of somebody to come move his shit. Of course, he learned the hard way that you can't just call a moving company and expect to move that day - I had already ex...

The ex has found his own place! Thank fuck because I have been very much losing my mind over the past few days. I guess me telling him that he had to get his shit together and start making an effort to find a place or he'd be out on his ass at the end of the week actually did something. He thought I was kidding, and attempted to use several excuses to explain away his lack of motivation for finding a place. I know that he'd been hoping that I'd invite him to stay and agree to dating him again. Ugh. As if. I'm pretty much asexual at this point anyway, and he certainly didn't do much to help the situation. I know myself well enough to admit to myself that when he and I were dating before it was because I'd hoped that maybe I had found somebody I would be compatible with. Obviously, he and I are NOT compatible enough to attempt a romantic relationship ever again, and it was wrong for us to try the first time around. I think what gets me the most is h...

I may be certifiably insane... So, my ex got into a fight with his landlord's son and spent a night in jail. The next day a judge told him that he could not return home due to the fact that he lived with his landlord. This meant that he messaged me asking for a place to stay because he had nowhere to go. I told him that I had to run it past my kid first because the last thing I want is to have my kid pissed off over sharing a place with somebody they don't particularly care for. My kid agreed to it being temporary only, which I'm in full agreement with. So, I let my ex know that he could stay but it was only for a short time, and he had to be making an effort to find a new place. Yeah. So far he's made NO effort to look for a new place, and keeps coming up with excuses. He also can't seem to get his head around the fact that I do not want to spend all my free time around him. If he needs to go to the store for something he can go by himself - it's re...

Today I ran into my ex, and it surprised me that he wanted to talk if I had a moment. As it's a day off for me, I said yep, I had time. I bought him a coffee and we chatted for over an hour. He actually apologized for breaking up with me the way he did, that at the time he had a lot on his plate, and that he wasn't sure if he could handle how my depression manifests. Apparently he regrets how he handled how he felt and whatnot. And he's looking for a friend. I told him that I am more than willing to be friends with him (especially now that he's apologized...that's a first for me because none of my other exes have apologized for a damn thing), and that I fully understand that he had a lot going on at the time. He was finally coming to terms that he's got some mental health issues of his own going on, and, as is typical in those situations, he dropped a lot of relationships, including those with friends. He's also realized that due to his actions that he...

For years I've been dealing with pain and swelling, and for years I've had tests come back saying there is nothing wrong. Well, now my doctor is thinking that I may have fibromyalgia, a disorder that means the sufferer deals with widespread musculoskeletal pain that comes with fatigue, memory and sleep issues, as well as mood issues. I get the random muscle pains where it feels like somebody has stabbed me straight into my bone and is twisting the bone and muscle tight, and alternate between tingling and numbness in my hands a feet. And I've got a history of  headaches and irritable bowel syndrome. All of the issues I've been dealing with for years can all be found when looking at symptoms and signs of fibromyalgia. For now we're trying regular doses of anti-inflammatory meds to see if that helps. And I am to try to keep powering through the pain and fatigue as I wait for my next dose of meds to kick in. Fibromyalgia runs in the family - my mother and most of ...