Random Ramblings Are Random

I've got a day off and the weather is cool enough for to not feel like I'm melting to death in my apartment. Which means I can hopefully get my bedroom uncluttered and unfucked so that I can actually make use of the entire room once again. Let me tell you: depression and anxiety can be complete bitches that can leave your life and your home a disaster. And my home has been edging very much into the disaster zone. Take my bedroom, for example. It's hit disaster level and I no longer have a floor. I can't find most of my clothes so I keep buying more even though I know I should just clean my room to find what I already have. But...and there is always a but...I have not had the mental fortitude to simply fight with the mess and do what needs to be done. However, today I hope to get at least half the clutter cleared out of my bedroom so I can find the clothing I know is hiding under the mess, get the laundry bagged up, and get it on the go. I also plan on the...

Or, what was left of them. Saturday night I was getting ready to go out to a club. It's not something I do very often anyway but it was fetish night at the only gay club here in the city. And I was going to be meeting up with friends there. So I figured that I'd put a bit of effort into my look for a change. Usually I just throw on black pants, black t-shirt, tie my hair back, and maybe put on some makeup in a Goth-ish style. Hello to the black dress (with amazing pockets!), black tights that went over the knee, comfy black fabric Mary Janes, and hair and makeup inspired by classic Goth styling. Because I wanted my eyebrows a certain way it was necessary to shave my natural eyebrows off. My eyebrows used to grow in really thick and were easy to style using some brow gel or a bit of petroleum jelly. But over the past several years my eyebrows have become very sparse, much like the rest of my body hair. It's probably a bit TMI but I don't even have to shave my leg...

Okay, so I haven't been much for reaching out to people lately. Unless I live with you, see you at work, or run into you while I'm doing important stuff like making sure we don't starve, I haven't been calling, texting, or messaging anybody unless they initiate the interaction. It doesn't mean that I don't care about you as a person or that I no longer want to be friends. Y'know, depression is a very real thing in my life, and quite often I retreat into myself and don't interact with folks except for what I wrote above. And my friends - people who truly are my friends - get that. They understand that there are stretches of time where I don't reach out or communicate. I basically disappear into myself, only coming out when I'm physically and mentally well enough to be at all social. Yes, these even extends to social media, messaging, and texting. Why? Because even those things tired me the fuck out sometimes. However I seem to have lost a frie...

So, I know I that I don't post here all that often. Hell, I don't update most of my social media sites all that often these days. Why? I can't really put my finger on it, but it's not that important. Anyhow, I've quit the shitty call center after being off on stress leave for a little over five weeks. Thank goodness for getting EI on the go after being off for the first week or I'd have been extremely broke for all of that time. And I didn't stay on EI for long either, although a part of me is thinking I should have kept it on the go for those weeks when I don't get enough hours at my new job. But such is life, and I'm sure if I wanted to I could reopen my claim. I'm now working at a downtown hotel as a housekeeper. The hourly wage is way better than what I was getting at the call center, and it's entirely less stressful. Less stress means that I have a better handle on my mental health issues, which can only be a good thing, right? It is...