Random Ramblings Are Random

I have written for years but have been too much of a chicken shit to submit my work to any serious publication. Until today. A local publisher had put out a call for short pieces of no more than 7500 words for a collection of stories for and about the 2SLGBTQAI+ community, and a friend rightfully pointed out that I am a part of that community and I have stories to write. So...I did it. I always do my best work when a deadline is looming, and the submission had to be in by 11:59pm today. I actually got it in two hours before the deadline! I had hand-written the piece tonight while sitting in a Starbucks with a friend, and when I read it out to her she cried. Not because it was bad, but because the emotions my writing had evoked. I normally NEVER share my serious writing with anybody because I have a huge fear of rejection. But it has been submitted. I figure the worst that happens is that they reject it, but that is all a part of learning and honing the craft of writing. But my fingers ...

So, I have found a good way to relax at nights now. I have started smoking marijuana again, this time from legal sources. Gotta love that Canada has legalized weed! Now you know what you're getting instead of trusting that the supply your dealer has is safe and hasn't been dusted with something else. Originally, I had stepped foot into a Tweed store here in town with the plan to buy my daughter some gummies to help her relax enough to sleep at night. She gets migraines from the smell of pot smoke so it's not like I could just share my pipe with her (yes, I use a pipe to smoke pot - less smell on my fingers, and less hassle trying to roll a joint with shitty fine motor control of my fingers). I totally would share with her if she wanted, but such is life. So, I got the gummies with the lowest amount of THC I could find - a pack of five for under $6 really isn't that bad. And while perusing the menu of stuff Tweed had to offer I found a decent price for one of the types o...

Same pandemic, different day. But definitely different anxiety creeping up. At least we aren't completely locked down again. But for the past month I have still been working at a hotel, despite us losing a good portion of the revenue that we usually expect over the Valentine's Day weekend...actually all of February. One nice thing though is that I got to spend three nights in a room and had the use of the jacuzzi whirlpool tub in the room all those nights. But that still doesn't do a damn thing about the anxiety and how different this lockdown felt. I know during the first one there were some periods where I felt overwhelmed but I was generally able to work through it to some extent. The pandemic and the issues it raised was on the proverbial back burner of my brain, but this time around it's front and center. And I hate it. Add that to the fact that I've been dealing with a manager who doesn't seem to believe in communication with the entire team. Sure, there...

I've decided that the entire decade can just be done now. Last year we got hit with Snowmageddon that saw St. John's shut down for a week. And once we got dug out of that we got hit with news of this horrible virus... COVID-19. Hello, world-wide epidemic! Ugh. Shut downs. Restrictions galore. Where's the money going to come from when we can't work? And so much more. On top of it all, my best friend gets diagnosed with cancer for the second time. They thought they got it all the first time, but no PET scan was done to confirm. And right before her first wedding anniversary she discovers another spot. Then my favourite aunt died, and due to pandemic restrictions I couldn't even fly to see her before she passed away. And my mother's narcissism reared its ugly head yet again in the midst of all this because how dare she be the last one to find out that her sister is dying...she should have been first, even before my aunt's husband ffs! We managed to get through ...